Fokus ROMI.HR

Svjetski dan roditelja, među posebnim je međunarodnim svjetskim danima koje je odobrio UN, a proglasila ga je Opća skupština Ujedinjenih naroda 2012. godine. Bio je to dar svim roditeljima u svijetu. Dan su Ujedinjeni narodi posvetili poštovanju svih roditelja u svim dijelovima svijeta zbog njihove nesebične predanosti djeci, i njihove cjeloživotne žrtve u njegovanju tog odnosa.“

S obzirom na doprinos odnosa djeteta i roditelja djetetovom životu, i činjenicu da je obitelj najmanja i najosnovnija jedinica društva, roditelji su odrednice društvenog života. Koncept roditeljstva neprestano se mijenja. U prošlosti je on bio mnogo stroži, a odnos djeteta i roditelja bio je službeniji. U današnje vrijeme, barem u zapadnim društvima, roditelji i djeca imaju opušten i prijateljski odnos s roditeljima. Prosječna osoba često provodi više vremena sa svojim roditeljima nego sa svojim prijateljima ili braćom i sestrama. Bez obzira na to ima li netko “dobre roditelje” ili ne tako dobre, taj odnos značajno utječe na obje strane.

Teško je biti „dobar roditelj“ kako je to prikazano u udžbenicima. Što god roditelj učinio, djeca neće biti sretna sve do određene dobi kada mogu razumijeti da su njihovi roditelji za njih radili sve najbolje što su mogli. To vrijedi za roditelje koji su bili spremni biti roditelj, koji su odlučili postati roditelj. Čak i kada se netko osjeća spremnim biti roditelj, stvarnost kada imate dijete može biti drugačija. Zbog toga trebamo Svjetski dan roditelja. Na primjer, svaka žena može patiti od postporođajne depresije nakon poroda, bez obzira ne to jesu li ili nisu željele imati dijete. Uz postporođajnu depresiju, briga o djetetu postaje vrlo težak zadatak, pogotovo ako postoji samo jedan roditelj i nema drugu podršku i pomoć u njezi bebe. Neki ljudi postanu roditelji u tinejdžerskim godinama i nisu spremni na takvu vrstu odgovornosti. Ima djece koji se brinu o svojoj braći i sestrama jer biološki roditelji nisu mogli. Ima baka i djedova koji se brinu za svoje unuke. U SAD-u 5 milijuna kućanstava vode djeca. Brinu se o braći i sestrama, kuhaju i čiste. U nekoj zemlji sama činjenica da netko može svoje dijete hraniti dva puta dnevno, označava da je netko dobar roditelj. U Kini su zakonski djeca dužna brinuti o roditeljima i očekivanja se povećavaju kako djeca postaju starija. Roditeljstvo dolazi u svim oblicima, a ponekad i ne u tako lakim oblicima. Svjetski dan roditelja postoji kako bi se prepoznali nesebični postupci kroz koje većina roditelja prolazi.

Nikome nije lako biti roditelj, ali bi to moglo biti još veći izazov za manjine i imigrante. Kada se obitelj preseli u novu državu, djeci je lakše integrirati se, ali je teže roditeljima koji su prvih 40-50 godina proveli u drugoj zemlji. Kada se djeca mogu integrirati u novu državu, ali roditelji se bore s integracijom, taj jaz stvara probleme u obitelji, gdje će djeca reći “Ti me ne razumiješ”. Roditelj se može osjećati obespravljenim i može osjećati da se njegov trud ne vidi, i da za taj trud ne dobivaju dovoljno priznanja, da možda ne čine dovoljno.

Odnos dijete-roditelj važan je za sve, za svaku manjinu, uključujući romsku. Obitelj je vjerojatno najvažniji aspekt u romskoj kulturi. Romske obitelji su vrlo povezane i prilično su skeptične prema vlastima. Stoga je podrška unutar romskih obitelji vrlo dominantna. Međutim, zbog niže razine obrazovanja, niže razine prihoda i manjka vještina, romskim je obiteljima teže međusobno se podržavati kada je riječ o pomoći svojoj djeci u školovanju. U mnogim zemljama istočne Europe polovica Romkinja koje imaju oko 24 godine izjavilo je da su se udale prije nego što su navršile 18 godina. Romska djeca imaju veće šanse da se rode s manjom tjelesnom težinom, i ostanu s manjom tjelesnom težinom prilikom odrastanja, u usporedbi s drugom djecom. Kako bi roditelji mogli podržavati svoju djecu na najbolji mogući način, moraju biti u mogućnosti pomoći svom djetetu na svaki mogući način; društveno, obrazovno i osobno. Kada žena rodi prije nego što je navršila 18 godina, kada ni sama nije punoljetna, ne očekuje se da će dijete moći imati punu roditeljsku skrb. Svjetski dan roditelja nužan je kako bi svi koji su spremni postati roditelji znali što zapravo znači brinuti se o djeci.

Global Day of Parents, which is among the special international world days accepted by the United Nations, was declared by the United Nations General Assembly in 2012 and was a gift to all parents in the world. This day is dedicated by the UN “to appreciate all parents in all parts of the world for their selfless commitment to children and their lifelong sacrifice towards nurturing this relationship".

Considering the contribution of the relationship between parents and their children to the child's life, and that the family is the smallest and most basic unit of society, parents are essentially the determinants of social life. Concept of parenting is ever-changing, in the past it meant a more strict, official relationship between the children and the parents. These days, at least in western societies parents and children have a more relax, friendship like relationship. An average person spends more time with their parents than they do with their friends or their siblings. Whether one has “good parents” or not so good ones, that relationship effects both sides, significantly.

When it comes to being a parent, it is quite difficult to be a text book “good parent”. Whatever a parent does, the children will not be happy until a certain age when they can understand their parents were doing the best they can. This is valid for the parents that were ready to be a parent, that chose to become a parent. Even when one feels ready to be a parent, the reality when you have a child can be different. That is why we need Global Day of Parents. For example, any women can suffer from postpartum depression after giving birth, whether they really wanted to have a child or not. When someone has postpartum depression, taking care of a child becomes a very difficult tasks, especially if there is only one parent, or there are no other support to help with baby care. There are parents that become parents when they are teenagers, who were not ready for this kind of a responsibility. There are parents who are taking care of their siblings because the biological parents could not be there. There are grandparents who are taking care of their grandchildren. In USA, 5 million households are run by children, where they are taking care of the siblings, cooking and cleaning. In one country being a good parent might just mean that being able to feed your children twice a day. In China, its children’s duty to look after their parents and expectation increases as the children get older. Parenthood comes in all forms, and sometimes not in so much easy forms. Global Day of Parents is there to recognise the selfless acts most parents go through.

Being a parent is not easy for anyone, but it could be even more challenging for minorities and immigrants. When a family moves to a new country, it is easier for children to integrate, but it is more difficult for parents who spent their first 40-50 years in another country. When children can integrate to a new country but parents struggle, that gap creates problems in the family where children will say “You don’t understand me”. A parent might feel invalidated and that their efforts are not being seen, that they do not receive enough credit. That maybe, they are not doing an enough job.

Children parenting relationship is important for everyone, for every minority and for Roma as well. Family is probably the most important aspect in Roma culture. Roma families are very bonded and they are quite sceptical of authorities. Therefore, support for each other within Roma families is very dominant. However, due to lower educational levels, lower income levels and lower skill levels, it is more difficult for Roma families to support each other when it comes to helping their children in their education. In many Eastern Europe countries, half of Roma women who are around the age 24, reported to be married before they were 18. Roma children are more likely to be born underweight and stay underweight as they grow, compared to non-Roma children. In order for parents to be able to support their children the best way possible, a parent needs to be able to help their children in every way possible; socially, educationally and personally. When a woman gives birth even before they are 18, when they are not a full adult themselves, it is not expected that the children will be able to have fully supporting, parental care. Global Day of Parents is necessary so that everyone who is ready to be a parent can know what it actually means to take care of children.